Sorry if this isn't that deep of a thought or to organized but it's been something that's been bothering for a long time now. It was hard for me to word this so I basiclly just wrote as it came to me.

Christmas. It's built up as a season of joy and togetherness. Or as the celerbration of the birth of Jesus Crist if you are religious. Other religions have other names for it. Either way for such a day or season that is suppose to promote such good why does it actually bring out the worse in people? Why does it cause people to become such hypocrites at times?

Have you been shopping during the holiday season just to see parents pushing or shoving in extreme cases to just get this one toy for their kids as to not disappoint them. Or the clear rudeness of people trying to get things. Not because they are naturally like that but simply because they think the other person would do that same thing to them first if given the chance. Or how so much is put on getting the latest item as a sign of how much that person cares for you. Yet walk out of the story carrying several bags and to walk right pass people trying to collect donations for the poor or needy.

I'm not trying to single any one person since I'm guilty of this myself at times. Somtimes when I just sit back and look at the overall picture I can't but lose faith in people as a whole. This is really a depressing train of thought so I try not to think of it to often, especially since I know it isn't really fair. It isn't as if people set out to be this way.

I guess it's easy to focus on the negative instead of the good, especially when you yourself want to do good but are constantly bombard by situation of everyday living that constantly forces you in a different direction at times. People can't live without material items, those that would like to live that way couldn't due to the way society is and has become. This isn't really a recent development, it's been this way for thousands of years.

I wish I could have done more this year but I wasn't even able to buy a single gift for anyone (out of school, trying to get into a grad school, and not working at the moment), less donate which is what I really wanted to do. Cause of this I didn't even want anything from anyone else. Didn't really desire anything to be honest to begin with and what I was given was a surprise since I thought it cost to much or that I didn't need it. Didn't want to suggest taking it back cause that would have been rude or would have hurt feelings.

This holiday has become more then it really was and I wonder why we try to hold on to old reasoning for it when mostly it's ignored and become more about the presents. Maybe I'd feel better about it if looked at the holiday for what it really is. One to give gifts to family and friends to show how much we care.

On the other hand this whole rant could pretty much be ignored and talked up to be the ramblings of a person that happened to be depressed at the time it was writen. I don't really feel this way all the time time, the times I really do is small but it's something that's always been on my mind in some form or another.